The words we use color our lives and our relationships. Some bring people closer together and others tear people apart.
I’ll be honest, I haven’t always used the best words or language. I was a sailor and I’ll use that as my excuse. But, there is no excuse for what some of those words and some of that language led to. All I can do now is ask forgiveness.
As a father, and now a grandfather, I see the children and grandchildren trying to navigate this world. In my writing, I try to give lessons and examples they can use. If I used words like I did when in the service or later, I find I’d be mortally embarrassed to have my granddaughters read my work.
The problem with them–and we all know what words we’re talking about here–is they often represent a violence. Some just physical violence, some sexual violence. Some are just plain degrading and disrespectful. The last thing I wanted my granddaughters to see was their grandfather using those words in any form.
Today is my 30th wedding anniversary. My wife had a huge influence on me. It took a lot of years of work for me to remove those words from my daily speech and writing. Now I wince when I hear or read any of those words. An author I’ve read for a while suddenly includes more of those words in his work. It’s a shock when I run across them in my reading, but they are becoming more frequent.
Granted, those are good old-fashioned Anglo-Saxon words, single- or two-syllable. Direct and emphatic. Is there a place for them in today’s literature and film? They are, as I mentioned above, violent. They describe emotional, physical, or sexual violence; carry a negative connotation; are derogatory and insulting.
You won’t find them in the stuff I do. They don’t fit the story, the message, or the tone. I try to set a positive tone, create solid relationships, and respectful communication.
I think the strongest expletive I’ve used in my writing to date is, “Oh, crap.” The hero has to have something to say when he or she exhausted all options, finds him or her self cornered, and there seems no way out.
Find good words.